22 Sivan 5983/ 11 June 2023
Day 162
Readings: Leviticus 21-22
Dearly Beloved Yousef,
Shalom Salaam! Today is a Sunday I went to church with spiritual son Natanel. We ate lunch at church and we seated a lovely girl named Kim who is also my brother David's girlfriend. I was happy to chat with her and she was a kind and sweet girl who was really a true believer of CHRIST because she was able to bring the whole family to the LORD because of her humble heart. I was blessed by her for the short time we were together.
This afternoon I attended and served to facilitate an "Encounter with GOD" Retreat that we call Empower Weekened. I attended retreats like this when I was studying University and the experience changed me because I really did encounter GOD during that time, that I left my worldly life and a relationship that I hid from my family. This retreat was shorter than the one I attended because it was only 1.5 days, tomorrow being the last day. The one I attended was 3 days. Anyway, the event blessed me when I began to pray in tears for those who were attending the retreat. The Word says if we refresh others, we too will be refreshed. I have been crying since last night, this morning and this afternoon, lamenting, mourning, grieving over my family and this morning it was my Dad that I have been grieving over because of the way he has been attacking the Spirit of GOD within me influenced by my brother and his wife.
We had dinner at church and I came home afterwards to have communion and prayer with spiritual son and employee Natanel whom I bore since 2020. This evening had been a peculiar night because while he read the communion scriptures in Psalm 129, I prayed for the partaking of JESUS' body and blood through the elements of bread and wine. I prayed "Reveal your will to us, reveal yourself unto us." And right after the communion, the day's events suddenly flashed in my head, where Earl gave us the chocolates at our table for an afternoon dessert. And then I told Natanel who Earl was... he was the first man GOD revealed to me to marry on 2010. But because of his fearfulness, unstability, and immaturity he failed the test GOD gave us. On July 2011, GOD spoke to me regarding Earl in 1 Samuel 16:22, and then GOD spoke again in Genesis 22 that everything was only a test on December 30, 2011. Somehow, I already had your book by 2010 and I believe I bought it in London but I also remember buying it in Doulus Ship my memory is failing but there is a Unit price of the Book, something only Doulus Ships does to tag it's pricing. Now, I didn't know I was gonna marry you so I never read that book until 2021. But tonight as we read 1 Samuel 16:1, the words suddenly rhema to me again, it spoke to me actively again, 1 Samuel 16:1 New American Standard Bible Samuel Goes to Bethlehem 16 Now the Lord said to Samuel, “How long are you going to mourn for [ a]Saul, since I have rejected him from being king over Israel? Fill your horn with oil and go; I will send you to Jesse the Bethlehemite, because I have chosen a king for Myself among his sons.” The Words were alive and active as Natanel read them and I believe Saul this time is no longer Earl but my Dad whom I have been mourning over since April 26 when they attacked me as a family during a 3 hour family meeting. I got this as confirmation that this year, I will go to Israel myself and stay longer to volunteer. I will go right after our church anniversary and I pray to be able to find a new place or community to volunteer there so that I will serve GOD's purpose wherever HE sends me. I pray to learn Arabic and Hebrew at the same time. I pray to meet you there if GOD wills it, even though I prefer you to come here first, it doesn't matter, if GOD changes plans, who am I to question it? I will go and do whatever HE calls me to do. I am just so glad that the time has finally come for me to meet you. This Year indeed is the Kairus year of double grace and favor for you and me! May HIS will be done in our lives InshYahuwah!
I am going to sleep soon because I feel tired and tomorrow we will do the rest of the encounter. Take care my beloved and just know I am always praying for you, I cry tears for us to be together each day until the day I meet you face to face. I will wait and continue to hope in the LORD who is faithful and true.
Your Princess Bride,
Marie Christine "Maryiam Yiksa"