11 Tammuz 5983/30 June 2023
Day 181 Readings
BST: Numbers 2:1-34, Matthew 10:1-15
DKL: 2 Kings 17, Acts 20, Psalm 148, Proverbs 18:6-7
Numerbs 2:
3-9 “Those camping on the east side toward the sunrise are to be under the banner of the camp of Y’hudah; they are to camp according to companies; by tribe and leader they are as follows:
TribeChiefNumber
Y’hudah Nachshon the son of ‘Amminadav 74,600
Yissakhar N’tan’el the son of Tzu‘ar 54,400
Z’vulun Eli’av the son of Helon 57,400
Judah is the 4th son of Jacob, Yissakhar the 5th and his son leader is N'tan'el who is exactly the spiritual name of our son NetanEL whom Philip the disciple brought to YESHUA in John 1:45, because Philip is Mosab Hassan Yousef and Marie Christine Yu and we bear NetanEL (IsraEL) because we bring him to YESHUA.
Matthew 10:1 Yeshua called his twelve talmidim and gave them authority to drive out unclean spirits and to heal every kind of disease and weakness. 2 These are the names of the twelve emissaries:
First, Shim‘on, called Kefa, and Andrew his brother,Ya‘akov Ben-Zavdai and Yochanan his brother,3 Philip and Bar-Talmai,T’oma and Mattityahu the tax-collector,Ya‘akov Bar-Halfai and Taddai,
Notice how Matthew accounts the disciples and the 5th disciple is Philip, who is also my Prince Philip because I am the Princess Aurora the dawn Warrior and Philip is also me from the Philppines, but Philip is also Mosab Hassan Yousef the Green Prince of Philistia in Psalm 87 (who lives in Shomron or Samaria).
This morning as I read HIS WORD, YAHUWAH shown this to me. As a person with autism, GOD speaks to me in patterns that the world does not normally notice because autism children has their own way of understanding things or connecting things. May the LORD speak to Mosab Yousef in a way only he could understand as well. May the LORD my GOD bring us together soon. I don't want my mother to see me crying all the time while I am with them, I don't want her to be sad for me but the LORD has made me sad because I cannot rejoice when I long to be with my husband the way Hannah could not rejoice even though she had Elkannah because she longed for a child and her opponent was bullying her for not having any children. But the LORD has a purpose for making me wait so long for the husband HE had chosen for me. I know it will all be for HIS glory!
Acts 20:1 After the uproar had ceased, Paul called the disciples to himself, embraced them, and departed to go to Macedonia.
Paul, he is a single man an apostle for KING JESUS. Mosab Hassan Yousef he is single for now, also a servant of KING JESUS but Yousef will marry me his Maryiam because GOD had already spoken to me about it whether he believes it or not, I believe and will wait on the LORD for HIS Promises to be fulfilled. One day I will embrace my family and depart to be with my Yousef, and our ministry will be to the people in Zion, first to his family, to the Palestinians and to the lost sheep of Israel according to the order of HIS word: Judea, Samaria and the ends of the earth.
Dear Yousef,
I paused for a while to go to the toilet becuase ever since I've been drinking the charcoal coffee and the medicine for bowel movements, my bowels have been moving wonderfully everyday sometimes more than once a day. But then my mom knocks telling me that Dad needs his food and it needs to be heated, I feel bad that she doesn't know how to ask me. It's like she's just ordering me to do stuff. And as I go to the microwaive to heat up the food, it gave me time to think. Maybe food preparation will be the job I will be doing mostly for our family and the team that you are with and I should be prepared for that because where we are, there are no more helpers, which could be quite a challenge for me that's why already today these things shouldn't bother me anymore. Maybe I feel singled out mostly because they will not ask my siblings to do these stuff for them and I am the only one they can ask. I pray though that I will be so used to it that even if I am singled out, I will do it with a joyful heart knowing that GOD is preparing me to be a wife who is able to take care of you. I can also do administration for you... I can be many things for you because I love you. I pray to love my parents more, maybe the reason why I am heavy hearted towards them is because I don't love them enough or maybe because I feel they are not equal with how they treat us all. Some children they favor more but it should not bother me, I should only fix my eyes on the KING because HIS love for me is more than enough. One day when I discover that your love is not enough, I might not be happy and I should already expect that your love is not enough because you are human, you cannot complete me like the KING only can. It is only the KING who makes all of us whole and complete not a spouse or a child.
So I pray today, ABBA Father please give me a grateful heart, a heart that sees YOU all the time. A heart that is pure before YOU, a heart that pleases YOU, a heart that follows after YOU like David but without sexual sin. I want to be blameless O LORD, blameless in YOUR sight. I want to be HOLY as YOU want me to be. I pray to be a servant who loves to serve, who takes joy in serving just like KING JESUS and I see that in Noli - Natanel too and I pray a blessing for Natanel too. Please AVI, make my heart glad because YOU already promised me. Do not allow me to be sad but I understand why you are allowing me all these things today, I hope I can talk to them heart to heart about how I feel... I pray they will understand why I am so sad in this trip when I was so happy in Manila. But maybe they will only realize my worth when I am gone and it's okay. I want them to do GOD's will after I am gone because while I am with them, they don't listen and they take me for granted. They take the Spirit of GOD within me for granted. I have to understand that these things shouldn't bother me because they are not ONE with GOD, they care only about what other people think of them, their reputation, their happiness but I know everything will change, they will all change once I am with you and I can no longer come back home because of the work we will be doing for the KING. I apreciate my parents and all the hard work they put into taking care and providing for us that is why I am with them everytime I have the chance to be with them, I serve them but I also feel unloved and unappreciated. I have to get past all these feelings, I have to keep looking to GOD.
Your Sister, Marie
Dear AVI,
Help me O LORD JESUS, to fast and get back on track spiritually. Help me AVI, to focus my eyes on YOU and keep looking to YOU. I understand YOU are training me not to be depressed about the changes going on when I am with my husband. Help me to see the training and to excel on it. I want to run the race and win the prize that which YOU have set for me. I want to keep looking to YOU O GOD Almighty! I want to be supernatural and not human so help me GOD. I need YOU, I need YOU all the time to make me the super that YOU want me to be. Being human has so many limitations, I don't like it, I want to be flying like before, not caring about myself or having these helpless feelings but to be complete, happy and whole being loved by YOU. I believe I only begin feeling pain when I recall how they hurt me on that 3 hour meeting criticizing me for nothing. And the enemy keeps recalling those things on my mind. May the LORD heal me from all of that... Heal me Adonai from all of that so that I can move on and be happy because KING JESUS won the victory for me! But I need to let out all feelings first before I can heal. So LORD please take care of me. I need YOU, every second everyday I cling to YOU. Feelings are so unstable, I pray that YOU take hold of my feelings and let me feel only what YOU want me to feel ABBA, because my feelings are so unstable. Help me to see and love my parents and family the way YOU want me to love them please AVI, please help me. I need YOU!!!
Ba HaShem YESHUA HaMashiach, Amen