8 Tammuz 5983/ 27 June 2023
Day 178 Readings
BST: Leviticus 25:35-55, Matthew 9:27-34
DKL: 2 Kings 12, Acts 18, Psalm 145, Proverbs 18:1
Dear ABBA,
O HOLY ONE of Israel, how I need YOU. Toda Raba for my talk with Shobe last night, I needed that. I saw her tears and felt her love for me.... I need the love of my family, to heal. I need to forgive them for all the wrong they have done against me so that I am obedient to the ways of GOD. I cannot do it on my own, this family trip has really proven to be the only way I can face all my pain and nobody wants to face their pain. I ask YOU ABBA, to help me and Mosab Hassan Yousef to forgive and face all our pain. Help me not to be bitter but to forgive so that I can still be used by YOU. I cry out to YOU O GOD Most High, enable me to overcome my trials and tests. Help me to be faithful, to trust, to believe, to hope, to be bold. I need YOU My KING, take over me, I cannot forgive on my own. I cannot reconcile with my family alone. Help me to do exactly that YOU want me to do. Help me to endure and to persevere the way that YOU want me to. LORD as YOU circumcize my heart over and over again, help me to continually turst and surrender to YOUR ways and plans for me, help me to want YOU and YOUR Presence more than anything. I pray for my Sister in law Denesse, heal her from all her wounds and pains of her past. Please heal my mother too, LORD, I cannot carry on without YOUR strong presence and YOUR SPIRIT within me. Help me LORD, this world is too tought, too evil. May YOUR love and comfort heal everybody in my family. All that I pray for myself, I pray for Mosab Yousef and his family too. How difficult it is to be in this world O GOD only YOU can bring healing and comfort to the both of us. Only YOU can heal us.
I receive YOUR WORD O LORD, I do not want to be led astray please lead me in the path of righteousness and life. I do not want to be isolated, please take care of me and do not allow me to runaway from all the pain. Help me to follow YOU no matter what pain YOU lead me into. Help me to overcome any pain and trial O GOD, I want to be an overcomer like YOU. I need YOU. Heal me LORD from all my pain, continue to heal me each day, continue to speak YOUR tender words of love and correction to me. I need YOU ABBA to enable me. I will die without YOU, yet I am dying in my flesh still when I obey YOU. Help me LORD, to follow YOU always. Comfort me, put YOUR loving arms around me, heal me and keep healing me, heal everybody in my family. Help me not to run away but to endure pain and trials. Help me to keep my peace until YOU give me the right heart and Spirit. I need YOU ABBA to secure me with YOUR love. I am in need of YOU. Please take care of Mosab Hassan Yousef, heal him and comfort him every hour and every moment, please take care of us, heal us both. Now I undertand why it's taking so much time for us to be together, YOU are preparing us for one another. I undrestand ABBA, but even so today, whether YOU will fulfill YOUR promise or not, I will continue to follow YOU, My Lamb, wherever YOU go, help Mosab and I to follow YOU wherever YOU go. Help us to be faithful.
Ba HaShem YEHOSHUA HaMalkizadik Amen!
18:44 @0813 Apa Hotel Shinjuko Tokyo, Japan
Dear Yousef,
My parents and I went back to our hotel earlier than later because Mom was feeling very tired and sick, she just wanted to go home because she didn't take her medicines and second we've been walking straight for many days and she hasn't rested. The sudden change of fast paced lifestyle gave her a shock but in my heart, I knew she was already so fragile, I was even surprised that she wanted to travel for such a long time, 2 weeks to me is too long already especially since I don't like Japan. I'm not an asian girl, I am a middle east girl but even though traveling is fun, sometimes I just want to stay home especially since Sunshine gave birth to 5 puppies now we are down to only 2 becuase the 3 died but I cannot blame Noli for the loss, perhaps GOD didn't allow them to survive because Sunshine can't feed 3. We only went to the Tsukiji Fish Market and had lunch there then when we were going to another place, Mom felt like going home, she even slept at the Subway while we rode it towards our hotel. I am already home sick so when I arrived at the hotel, I decided to go to the dog cafe to hug some dogs and while they weren't as friendly one maltese/shihtzu dog came to my lap!!!
I was so happy because she looked like Sunshine and she is such a beauty so I hugged her and took photos of her. It was like GOD letting me know HE loves me, always HE expresses HIS love to me through dogs that love me. I thank GOD for that so much. I miss GOD too, especialy in this place where it's godless. I couldn't feel HIS presence here but only brokeness and so I kept crying but at the same time, it's already the second day of my period. In a while, I will be having dinner with my parents and I am happy that I could be with them tonight. I tried to imagine going to Jerusalem Israel this year, to volunteer or work there so I could meet you but today I am glad to be with my parents still. But even though I am with my family I miss the love of my home where all my dogs are. It's so strange how I feel in this place, and we have 4 more days to go. I hope we get to enjoy Disney Sea by tomorrow or Thursday and that Mom could still be given the strength to enjoy. I feel that her time is short, I don't want her to go home to the LORD yet until she sees her grandchildren our kids and Deans and Davids. I want them to live longer. So we have to meet already and get married soon. I kept thinking about you today. Perhaps maybe you are the Indian guy that I met on okcupid and chatted with me as Stephen Daniel on whatsapp and you gave up on me. I don't know, but I pray for you, because I did not give up on you. I still love you and long to be with you even though I will be far from family. I just wanted to bring some of my dogs with me when we are together but if it's not possible, I still chose you. But I am praying to GOD to take care of my heart, because I have wished to bring Cobe with me to Israel or wherever you live. But I surrender to GOD with whatever will happen because GOD's ways are higher than ours. Maybe it's easy for you to say goodbye to me because we never had a personal relationship and if you Stephen Daniel, I felt disconnected from you because I am not interested with anyone who belongs to anyone. You said you are engaged so why should I even build a friendship with you??? You know it was strange for me. I was trying to help you with your love life but you didn't want to talk about it. So I didn't know what you wanted to talk about. You wanted to know if there was something else we could talk about, there are plenty but I believe you have closed your heart to anyone because of your pain with family. Please don't close your heart on me. Reach out to me again please. How I wish I could forget you but GOD brought you back to me out of nowhere! And you are so impossible to reach but GOD says you're the one so you're the one! I don't want anyone else but you. That's it! I know I am strange and different to you, but I hope you accept me for who I am. I pray that you appreciate how GOD made your woman to be me. Take care my brother, please reach out and be friends with me again, please.
Thank you for reading my letters to you
The one who Loves you - Marie
Matthew 9:29 NKJV
29 Then He touched their eyes, saying, “According to your faith let it be to you.” 30 And their eyes were opened.
Psalm 145 NKJV
14 The Lord upholds all who fall,And raises up all who are bowed down.15 The eyes of all look expectantly to You,And You give them their food in due season.16 You open Your handAnd satisfy the desire of every living thing.
17 The Lord is righteous in all His ways,Gracious in all His works.18 The Lord is near to all who call upon Him,To all who call upon Him in truth.19 He will fulfill the desire of those who fear Him;He also will hear their cry and save them.20 The Lord preserves all who love Him,But all the wicked He will destroy.21 My mouth shall speak the praise of the Lord,And all flesh shall bless His holy nameForever and ever.