12 Tammuz 5983 / 1 July 2023
Day 182 Readings:
BST: Numbers 3, Matthew 10:16-42 DKL: Proverbs 18:8, 2 Kings 18-19, Acts 21:18-26, Psalm 149
Shabbat Balak
Welcome to our study of Parasha Balak (Destroyer), the weekly Torah portion that will be read in every synagogue around the world during this week's Shabbat (Saturday) morning service.
BALAK (Destroyer)
Numbers 22:2–25:9; Micah 5:6–6:8; 2 Peter 2:1–22
“And Balak [Destroyer] the son of Zippor saw all that Israel had done to the Amorites.” (Numbers 22:2)
Dear ABBA,
Baruch Ata ELOHIM Malki Zedek Ha Olam! Thank you for this wonderful Shabbat and I thank YOU father for today is the day our Japan trip ends and we go back home. I'd rather be home than be in Japan because Japan is not my place. While all my family loves it here, I dislike it here so much... I remember when I came here the first time, I also did not enjoy and dreaded the 2 weeks that I was here, just counting the days we will be home. But I am thankful for the opportunity to travel while some can only wish to be in my position, it may seem that I am ungrateful for what I have. But Adonai, it's not that, I would rather spend my money going back to Israel than come here. But since it's not my money to spend, I will just have to oblidge. And oblidge I did, even though I can say no coming to Japan and use the money to travel some place else, I had to obldige because of the vow I made to you on February that indeed if YOU have paid all my debts already, then I will come to Japan with them. And YOU did!!!! It was such a surprise that my debts had already been all paid. I didn't realize it until I made that vow with you because Mom insisted that I come. If I was still indebted I would not have come. But here I am and I was able to serve my parents accompanying them wherever they wanted to go becuase we didn't have any tour for 3 days straight, we had free days just doing our thing and I feel sad when my brother David told me that this trip we just had is not worth it because we just spend our days shopping in Tokyo. But ABBA, I wish to go to Israel this year with Spiritual Grandma Gloria and Ma Melot. I am praying that Grandma Gloria will be able to sell her properties in Bohol so that she can travel to Israel this year! I am praying that Ma Melot will come with us too and I pray that YOU bless them so that they can go to Israel ABBA. I want to accompany them, and serve them too. I know I can't stay to volunteer anymore and I would rather wait for Mosab to come to get me in Cebu than to go out and work there because I don't want to leave behind Cobe and besides it's not that I don't want to be independent. YOU know very well how I always desired to be independent but YOU did not allow me. YOU brought me back to my parents house to serve them, so because YOU made me this way, YOU have to bring Mosab to me to take me from my fathere's house and into his house. YOU have to do it. How can YOU ask me to go there and work at this age??? Sure I can go, but I have no peace just even thinking about it. I wish to go to tour with my spiritual grandmothers and perhaps meet Mosab there. But even if I don't see him there, I still wish to go. Please ABBA, more than coming to Israel is my desire to be the wife of Mosab. I want him to come to me LORD, I don't know how YOU are going to do it but YOU will have to do it because YOU gave this desire to me when YOU promised me that Mosab Hassan Yousef is my husband and I am so excited to be his wife. Although I know, it's not going to be easy because of the adjustments we will face after being alone for many years but YOU can do it ABBA! YOU are the ONE who gave me the promise and the desire and YOU will fulfill it. I believe YOU promised the same thing to Rebekkah that some man will come for her to take her to be with her dream husband. That is why when Eleasar the servant of Abraham came for her, she didn't doubt for even a bit, she went with him right away just like that! So please ABBA come for me, let Mosab come for me to take me away suddenly just as KING JESUS will come for all HIS bride to take us away into the Marriage Supper of the Lamb!
Ba HaShem YEHOSHUA, Malkizadik Amen!
Dear Yousef,
Today, we left for the airport earlier than 9am and arrived at around 10:20am only to find out that our 14:40 flight is delayed at 18:00 today. So we decided to go to the Premium Outlet while waiting for our flight but the bus did not allow us to enjoy the outlet because of time constraints. So instead of going to the Outlet to shop, I am content to stay in the Airport writing my prayers to ABBA our Father and writting letters to you, the one that my soul loves. I know it might sound strange that I am already dreading being with my family on this vacation in Japan - the place that I don't like so much but I am here for GOD and for my parents and for my friend Myra who is a missionary who will be sent to Japan because her calling is to be here. While on this trip, my mind was in Israel and visions of meeting you always flooded my mind. It is what I have been asking GOD to do, for HIS promise for me to marry you come true. That's all that's been in my mind while I am in Japan. I would wonder if you would even like me but it doesn't matter, the fact that GOD says I am your wife means that you will not only love me fall in love with me but you will be crazy about me. Yes I know you love Israel but you will love me more than Israel because it is not good for man to be alone. I know you have been alone all your life. I can imagine you not being able to fall in love with somebody or any girl because you are specifically created for something unique and I was specifically created for only you that is why I myself cannot love anybody else but you the man I was created for. Nothing else and no one else would make sense, my life woud not make sense without you in it. Even today, even though I have everything I need and more, I am filled with sadness because I am not with you yet. GOD has made me endure so long not being with you because I believe GOD is training me to endure the difficult roads that may lie ahead of us. I know it won't be easy but it will all be worth it because we have love and we are in love..... I want to love you and I need to be loved too, that's why we need each other. Even though you have surived life alone being without me but I know when I am with you, you will never want to be without me ever again. Sometimes I desire to be loved by you so much that it becomes painful for me to not yet be with you, and I cry many tears because I am still unloved, still without the One GOD created me for. I know you can live without a woman, you can be alone, but you don't have to be, you don't have to be unhappy, I want to make you happy, I want to be your family because you have no one not even parents and siblings. I want to be that person that makes you happy I hope you will not close your heart on me, GOD is never mistaken, HE never lies too because HE is not human. Today HE reminds me of WHO HE IS, and HIS promise to me, and I am encouraged because I feel sad already, I feel very sad that I'm still not with you. Please come quickly for me, just as KING JESUS is coming quickly for HIS bride. I am ready to leave everything behind, please let me bring Cobe, but if I can't bring him then let it be and GOD will be the one to heal our broken hearts. I am crying just thinking about it, because Cobe has been faithful to me, I don't want him to die without me. But I can afford not to be there if my parents go home to heaven. Well dogs are better than any human because dogs never betray you that's why Cobe is precious to me because GOD created Cobe specifically for me. I know that if given the choice, he would die with me and for me, this is how I am for you too... I will die with you and for you because this is the kind of love GOD has given me for you. I am already sad in this life without you, if one day you have go to home, let me go home to the FATHER with you too becuase I have no other purpose in this life but to be loved by GOD and you. I am crying listening to the song "I can't believe my eyes" by Russell Hitchcock because I already see myself dying with you and for you. Maybe our deaths will bring glory to GOD and to the Love GOD has made for us. This world has dissappointed me so much, I hate this life I have, literally hate it and the only hope for my living is GOD's promise to me to be with you. If HE didn't promise me you, I won't have any reason for living. I don't even want to be here anymore serving GOD. Just like Paul, he is facing his death head on as I read about him this morning, I can undertand him, he doesn't have a wife, and his only love is JESUS so what's the point of staying when to die is to be with JESUS and to live is to imagine HIM only. Better to die and be with JESUS right??? I know how you feel, you are tired in this world and you would rather die fighting than living a senseless life. You found JESUS and so you followed HIM wherever HE goes and that was your only hope for living. I want to follow you follow HIM so together we can be happier and live life with fuller meaning. It doesn't matter who hates us because we love each other. I already feel the betrayal (hatred) of my family towards the spirit of GOD in me so it don't matter if they hate me more if I chose to be with you. My message will make sense to them during my absence, I want to be absent from them so that they can draw closer to GOD and live a HOLY Life pleasing HIM than pleasing themselves. Most of them are lying to themselves pretending to love GOD when they love themselves more than they love GOD. Naturally this what humans are, liars. I was lying to myself too until GOD awakened me to the TRUTH, becuase I have been a Chrisitian all my life but I didn't give my life to be used by the KING anyhow HE wants or likes. I was still living my life and proffessing to be a Christian until GOD broke me and I was never the same. You can read about my story starting with Chapter 1. It's all there and if you have any doubts or questions, please feel free to ask me through whatsapp or messenger, just reach out to me okay??? Take care of yourself and please eat a little more because you look much healthier when you have a little weight on you. I am looking fat already because we keep on eating on our Japan trip but when I get home, it will be just in time for the mid year prayer and fasting season of the churches so I am also excited to fast so that GOD can recharge me. I feel very much sloppy and sleepy feeding twice a day... I don't want that, I want to get back to my OMAD fasting where I was spiritually hyped and alive! It was because of the way my family criticized me that I was broken in my spirit and until today in the vacation, I never got back my joy because all I felt was pain and sadness. But not for long for GOD will bring you to me and I will be the happiest, most alive, glorious being so hyped up spiritually!
Love your sister,
Marie
I thank GOD because up in the air inside the airplane, I was able to pray for an hour and a half, to prepare me to fast for this weeks Prayer and Fasting, and then GOD revealed greater truths to me according to the Readings this day that HE is truly on my side and that whatever my family may have against me is really against HIM because it is the Spirit of GOD working thru me so if they are against me then they are against HIM.