21 Sivan 5983 6th Watch 10 June 2023
Written @ Tabernacle Base Camp Lahug
Reading: Day 161 Psalm 102:1-28, Hebrews 11
Torah: Numbers 13-15,
Haftarah: Joshua 2:1–24
B’rit Hadashah: Hebrews 3:7–19
Dear Yousef, My brother, My Beloved,
I spend the morning resting at first so I extended my sleep to almost 8am, then I had small talk breakfast with Mom, swam at the pool and bathed 3 of my dogs... I felt happy to do these things on Shabbat because it relaxes me and at the same time energizes my body that has not have exercise for the longest time. I will write again later about this shabbat, for now I will take my lunch because I am hungry...
12.01
ok I am back! I had a delightful lunch praise GOD!!! No pork, just salmon, kimchi and rice with mongo soup and I ate banana first because Bro. Bo taught me that fruits should be eaten first than last. So I have 45 minutes to write about this shabbat because at 13:00 we have another facilitator training at church.
I love the Bible Study App together reading today in Psalms 102, because GOD is speaking so much encouragment to me that HE is hearing my prayer and will answer them now because the time has come.
Also Hebrews 11 talked about what FAITH really is all about, being sure and certain of things that has not happened yet, faith is the proof that something will surely happen because of the faith of that person. I believe I have that kind of faith, that's why even before you know about me or come to me, I believe GOD enough when HE told me to announce what HE has told me about you and me. HE wants me to announce because HE wants everyone in they hypocrite world to know that you and I, we are truly HIS servants. So many profess to be GOD's servant, but they live a life of lie. I know many, I have already beheaded a lot. And some are still hanging on by a threat, but the ones I wrote letters with, they have lost their chance to be a representative of GOD, they need to retire and spend their days just seeking HIM. I did not ambition to be a servant of GOD, my ambition was to be a singer and then a house wife, but if GOD calls me, who am I to say no? Am I better than Moses that I should say tell the ALMIGHTY, No? Definetly not, so here I am doing exactly what HE has called me to do and that is to write letters to you but I assure you that one day I don't have to write letters anymore, becasue I will be with you and I will tell you directly what I feel but if I can't seem to tell you everything I want to because perhaps you block me from telling you, then I will have to write letters again. I assure you that when we are together, I won't be posting or doing so much social media because I have already planted enought seeds now while you are not with me. The real followers of JESUS can just retrace my steps and confirm what GOD has been telling them through me.
The shabbat portion today is quiet amazing because of it's title. Shlach L’kha (Send on your behalf), when I read GOD's word, it always rhema to me. This is what I've been thinking of since this week, that you might not come for me yourself but will send an trusted servant like Abraham's Eleasar. But to spend out spies is better! Because it would mean that they will make sure it is safe for you to come for me, before you come for me. Spies clear out the way or make the pathway straight for you just as prophets Elijah and Moses make a clearing for the coming KING JESUS. I am so excited for your coming already! That even as I cry for the burdens of my land, I still rejoice thinking about us being together, and how we will finally have a wedding. A wedding is not as important to me than bringing some of my dogs with us. But it would be nice for us to have a secret wedding here so that my family and workers can all enjoy the happiest day of my life. And we can have a wedding everywhere that you are loved and celebrated by your people. But with or without a wedding, the most important thing for me is we are together with our dogs to the home or resting place HE has prepared for us, I don't know where you are in the South East of Asia but I am sure I will be happy to be with you starting a new life because of GOD's Spirit that is at work within me and the promises HE gave us in Psalm 45. Even before I leave my home, I already want to forget all of my troubles from here how much more when I am happy with you, I won't ever have to look back because of the Grace of GOD. I want us to focus on wherever GOD sends us. I will go to church now and then come back to finish this letter. Take care and Shabbat Shalom! Have a blessed peaceful rested Saturday.
9:12AM I am broken, Sunday morning, talking to my father about family issues. I am still crying out to GOD because I still feel the pain of being criticized by by own family for obeying GOD. But I will continue to humble myself and ask for GOD to vindicate me. The only vindication that I ask from GOD is that HE will bring you to me so that I can finally marry you and be with you, because GOD is finally making HIS promises for me come true.... Yet I want to overcome this pain that I have in my heart in my family, may the LORD heal me, I release forgiveness and blessing to my brother Dean and his wife, may they have children so that they will undertand what it's like to be parents. I am praying the prayers opposite of what my anger dictates because this is the will of GOD. Hard as it is, because in all honesty I want them to cry the tears that I cry now. May the LORD help me to overcome this difficult challenge. May I love them still even after all they done against me to harm me. But even as I endure the fire of this hurt, may the LORD make me overcome again. So that I am able to receive you as my husband because I know GOD is still molding me so I can be the best wife for you, I want to be the best wife for you so I pray for GOD to enable me to pass the test because I can never pass it without HIS grace in my life. I am broken still, I am wounded still, and I will cry as much as I need until the LORD will hear the prayers and cries of my heart.
ABBA, vindicate me My GOD!!! and Bring my Yousef to me, have mercy on me O GOD as I cry out to you, bring honor to me for YOU promised to establish me. Vindicate me O GOD as you promised me, have mercy on your lowly servant have mercy on me O GOD, heal me O GOD heal me. Help me to forgive the unforgivable, help me to forgive, I cry out to YOU O GOD, please take care of me, make me joyful again.
Ba HaShem YESHUA HaMalkizedek, Amen!