20 Tammuz 5983 / 9 July 2023
Day 190 Readings:
BST: Numbers 28
DKL: 1 Chronicles 7-8, Acts 27, Psalm 7, Proverbs 18:22
Dear AVI,
HOLY is YOUR Name O GOD!!! HOLY are YOU O LORD, Creator of Heaven and Earth!!! Great is YOUR love for me O LORD and wonderful are YOUR works... I want to always reflect on how YOU saved us from trouble on 2018, YOU saved the Family Business through me and I want to keep remembering that. How YOU saved me from debt through Ezra on 2022, and YOU did it in 1 years time!!! YOU are an amazing GOD!!! That YOU hear the prayers of the broken. I was very broken at that time O LORD, I never thought I would heal from all that pain. But I still have some pain in my life, waiting for YOUR Promises to come to pass. NatanEL is right, I should take a step of faith by going because faith without works is dead. And since YOU have given me a Word, I am more than willing to do it but to find for the place where YOU will send me is something YOU need to do for me. YOU need to part the seas for me to cross over. But I can also already just take a step before the rivers can cross just like Joshua. So help me GOD determine, lead me by YOUR Spirit. I can always go to Doulus if I need to already depart but I want YOU to make things clear for me O GOD! Maybe Doulus can train me but when??? When should I leave???? Help me to determine which is right for me. I feel though that I am in a hurry. Why do I feel this way??? Is it YOU or just me? Remember me AVI, even if I am weary from waiting and doing more things for YOUR Promise to come to pass, I will do it. Even at 41 years old, I am strong and healthy and can take on assignments that YOU send me to. Show me once again that YOU O GOD want me to go on a mission. As much as I want to go to Israel already, doors seem to be still closed so do I wait for YOU to open it? Or do I ride the Doulus first??? When??? Please show me. On Tuesday, I will write to OM Ministries and see where YOU will lead me from there.
Toda for waking me a little early than the usual days. I really regret not getting up last Saturday at almost 6am when YOU awakened me before 6am. I miss the days where I wake up at 5am and bewith YOU. I don't want to be a slack or crave in to laziness because of my comfortable home. I want YOU to stay with me, YOUR Shekinah glory upon me because YOU said YOU are never leaving me so stay with me O GOD. Please stay with Mosab too, please preserve him for me let him dream about me, show him who I am O GOD, the woman, the wife YOU have created for him. Please GOD, why should YOU reveal him to me and then will end up with nothing??? Remember me O GOD and YOUR Promise to me, YOU Promised me a Man born in Zion, and YOU made it more specific on 2021 when YOU revealed this man to be Mosab My Yousef that he is born of Zion but a Philistian because he is Palestinian descent, Mosab Hassan My Yousef. Is it going to remain a dream??? An unfulfilled promise once again??? Please AVI, do not fail me anymore, do not break my heart anymore, remember me O GOD, please be merciful and remember me. Why should I long for someone not meant to be mine??? Please do not allow me to covet, YOU Promised me that I should not covet anything or anyone that's not meant for me. YOU trained me not to covet, so do not let me covet O LORD. I want only whoever is from YOU, because YOU have the best for me. LORD, forgive me that these things occupy my mind and heart, a husband king who loves YOU dearly and sincerely and truly with actions their love for YOU is evident. As Yousef continues to stand for Israel, he stands for YOU, as he continues to speak the truth, he speaks the TRUTH in love because of YOU. Let him to be with me O GOD, let him to be with me. I want to take care of him, I will be everything YOU have created me to be as a wife because of the LOVE YOU have given to me for him. I was also thinking about studying care giving, while waiting for an open door from Doulus or Israel. I want YOU to lead me AVI, lead me to YOUR perfect will O GOD. Let YOUR Spirit lead me like it did before. Toda for this time O GOD, that I can worship YOU in my home church with all the saints gathered. Please equip me to speak the TRUTH in Love to Pauline because I know YOU have a word for her. May YOU enable me to deliver the message according to YOUR will.
Ba HaShem YEHOSHUA HaMalkiZadik I pray Amen!
Written on 22:40-11:11
Dear Yousef,
Today I woke up around half past 6 and had my devotions like I always want to have devotions at the start of the day. Then I prepared for church, went to church easily got dressed for it. Had lunch at church but I also brought my own food then fellowshipped with Minggay and Pau after lunch then I was able to tell Pau what I was bothered about with her and thankfully she received it eventually with in a positive note. And because we felt cut short of the time we continued to hang out at Alishan the Milk tea house because I missed Milk Tea. Then I came home only to leave home for family dinner but I didn't join the dinner because I already planned not to eat twice this week. I hope to eat only once a day and continue my OMAD discipline. I am excited though for this week's activities because of my meeting with Frankie and Pipoy this coming Friday. I love one on one talks with people, I feel the need for it because I need to share my thoughts and what's going on but I should learn to keep things to myself because we should not trust people. I am just looking for an opportunity to go back to Israel and find something good to do there. Volunteering would be my best option and then working. I hope to have a meeting with Grandma Gloria and Sister Melot tomorrow. To be honest, I am happy to be home, life here for me is comfortable and happy compared to Japan, I remember during our trip that my most favorite time of the day while we were there was bed time! Can you imagine? That I would rather sleep in Japan than stay awake. I never slept so long in years - 8 hours mostly every night and I didn't like it. I wanted to be sleeping only 5 hours because sleep does not have to be long. Anyway, tonight as I write, thoughts about a brother in church came through my mind. Brother Bennet, husband and father of three is given only 1 year to live because of liver cancer. I was thinking there has to be a way for him to be healed, he can't just leave all 3 children fatherless. I pray for him tonight, that the LORD will heal him and also Joella who has been demon possessed is being delivered from all her demons since June 12, but until today signs of demon oppression still haunt her. I should be more selfless while I'm in church and start doing something for this people. I will seek and inquire the LORD about it. No wonder why I was not able to give the rest of my money (which is assigned for tithe) to the church workers, I need to give the rest to Brother Benett's family all his children are under scholarship because they are not well off. I want to be able to help this family ever since his wife gave a testimony of Praise to GOD during prayer and fasting week inspite of the trouble and threat of losing her husband. I really admire that kind of faith. May I be a blessing to my people as much as I will be to the Jewish and Arab people soon.
Yours Truly,
Marie Christine