Chapter 2 - The Runaway Prodigal

MONDAY, MAY 29, 2017

Written in

Darmstadt Germany January 1, 2008 It was the first day of a brand new year. Breakfast with my parents as usual and I was still in my celebration mood. Suddenly while enjoying our food, my father suddenly pops out the strangest question "It's another year and what have you done with your life so far?" Now to the regular person, maybe it's easy to shrug off such (what are you talking about) questions, but that question to me was like an atomic bomb, hit me real hard. One of the most earth shaking, life changing questions thrown at me and it wasn't coming from any person but the one that I loved and looked up to the most. So I couldn't finish my breakfast and ran up to my room crying (like Belle when she realized she couldn't see her father anymore because she exchanged her life for his freedom – Beauty and the Beast). In the midst of my tears I prayed to the LORD "GOD, I have been trying to put up with my life here in Cebu. And here I am unhappy but I still stay for the sake of my Mom. You know I always wanted to go abroad, how I want my freedom and to live my own life. Now, I have to know and I need you to answer me right now. Is it YOUR will for me to go abroad because if it is, I am not going to hesitate anymore, I will go." Then with soaring emotions and faith I expected GOD to answer me. I have been reading the Bible for some time. I have a Bible reading plan that allows me to finish reading the entire Bible in 1 year. And I was just following the Bible reading plan, but to my surprise, the reading for that day was Genesis 12. The words of GOD have never been so alive in all my life as I read the first verse of Genesis 12:1 The Lord had said to Abram, “Go from your country, your people and your father’s household to the land I will show you... the WORD of GOD spoke directly at me, my spirit awakens and I took those words seriously - GOD had answered my question. So from that day onwards, I had resolved to fly out of the country ASAP. Days turned to weeks and weeks to months, I would continue to ask GOD to confirm what HE had told me on the first day of the year and faithfully I would receive His word in Joshua 1:3 "I will give you every place where you set your foot, as I promised Moses... 9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” But then my Mom still didn't want me to go so I prayed "Lord if it is really YOUR will for me to go, then she has to let me go." Again one day to my surprise, My Mom comes to my room and tells me that there's a VISA Agency helping Filipinos get to London. So, I took that as another GO signal, that I was leaving the country. Finally after 1 year and half, I arrive in London on July 2009 and I was so happy, my wish finally granted even though it took time to happen. I have been dreaming to go out ever since I was in University. I wanted adventure and freedom. So there I was along with my 2 Filipino friends. Although I missed the comforts of home, I was enjoying every bit of my freedom and I was busy, never homesick for a bit because we had to solve some problems we were facing there. I was on student VISA, the Agency promised to give us a job while we studied, so we can work part time and earn while studying. The school never gave us the job so I wrote the Agency from my country and complained. The Agency was good to us, they acted on our complaint and communicated with the school owner whom they had an agreement with.They even filed them a lawsuit and so that school closed for breaking contracts with their clients and students. There has been a lot of bogus schools in the UK and their Government had been regulating the Foreign student and school policies. So we quit that school and decided to move to Central London where we found a new school. We rented an apartment in Wood Green where 5 people can live and we went to school but the problem was we didn’t have jobs. So we were seeking jobs online. One of my friends tells me to use this specific search engine to seek jobs. But then she started seeking friends instead and encouraged me to do the same. Ok let’s see. And I found a friend my age online we were writing to each other. Of all the friends that I met, he was the most interesting to me because he was born in Jerusalem but he was a Palestinian. I said to myself wow! I read about the Philistines in the Bible, now I get to know one. So with much persuasion, I agreed to meet with him and I brought my 2 friends along (strangers could be criminals for all you know). After meeting him, I realized he wasn’t a bad guy so we continued with our friendship and he helped me find a job in London with McDonalds and Burger King and I worked as the cleaner of the dining area and the Toilet! Never ever had I cleaned a single toilet or bathroom in my house and here I was scrubbing the toilets of a public Restaurant. Thus the reason being why I am a Prodigal (the prodigal son in Luke 15:11-32) – this is how a friend of mine described me when I told her my job in London. But I never felt low or degraded because I was working to earn a living, I was independent and free, it was what I wanted and besides the LORD JESUS said Mark 9:35 and Matthew 23:11 That the greatest in the Kingdom will be the servant to all.” So I was happy even though I barely have enough money to feed myself. My guy friend brought me to his family (it was the month of Ramadan about this time) and I was able to work for his sister as an English tutor of their daughter. I have been hesitating about Muslims ever since I was young because of the stories my Mom tells me of the Rebel Moros in Mindanao. But as I got to know this family, the biases and prejudgments about Muslims began to melt away, they’re not as bad as I thought. They are regular people just like you and me. They have families, they work hard, not the same scary Muslim I hear about in Mindanao. This family was also as surprised to meet a Filipina like me because their “concept” of a Filipina is a helper, poor people from the Philippines. They were surprised that I didn’t know how to cook and that I came from a well to do family. They were very kind to me so they gave me food all the time so I have something to eat and they always invited me to their home just to hang out. The sister of my friend became my friend too. She and I were even closer than my guy friend. She was trying to read me and one day asked “You are running away from home aren’t you? You have everything why come to London and suffer like us?” And I was completely in denial “Me? Run away Oh no! I just want my freedom.” But she wasn’t buying it, she said “I still think you are not happy in your home or else you would never come here” (Some people are just sensitive, and they have this gift of discerning spirits, she’s one of those that have those gifts and that spirit of mine was the Jonah spirit – the runaway Bride hahahaa). My job in Mcdonalds was far, so I transferred to another apartment where I could walk to my job in Greenford. Of course when my Mom knew I was now alone and hanging out with Muslims, she was so scared, she always told me to stay away from them and lock my doors, buy double locks (hahaha! my Mom is being a good protective mother like she is and I love her but she was already so stressed of what I was doing in London and the people I was hanging out in London, she had been praying for me to come home).

The Burning Bush and the Mission But the more I was with these Muslims strange things were happening to me, I felt a spiritual awakening. One day, I found myself crying alone in my apartment, and I was asking GOD “Lord what is happening to me??? Why am I overwhelmed with such emotions???” It was the very first time the LORD appeared to me, I don’t see Him with my physical eyes but in the Spirit I know He was there, He told me “They don’t know me, do you know that if they die today they go to hell because they don’t know me. I LOVE THEM as much as I love you, I died for them too” And I was so shocked at what He said, overcome by so much emotions I desperately asked “ok GOD what do I do what do I do?!?” JESUS told me, “Just be with them, eat with them, be among them as I was among humans on earth.” Then the Strong Intense Presence left the room, I felt like I was in the burning bush, because I could feel a burning, and I was barefooted and on my knees. I could still feel HIS overwhelming presence; I was lingering in it, still drowning in my tears. I was awed and speechless I don’t know how many hours I stayed on the floor. For the next few days, I did what the LORD asked me to do (even though I was not agreeable to some things HE wanted me to do like fetching their child at school because I was a tutor not a yaya, but when GOD said, “Just do it for me, the Greatest in the Kingdom of GOD is a servant to all”, and so okay I did. I was with them, working with them, watching TV with them, and just being with them. The mission was simple.

The Battle Field But the twin brother of my Palestinian friend have been trying to debate with me about religion. He wanted me to prove to him why I was a Christian. Ok challenge accepted. But no matter how hard I tried to win an argument, I was completely dumbfounded, “Why can’t I even share my faith the way I want to?” It’s like the enemy would tape my mouth and I was tongue tied. And I came to the LORD frustrated. “Why GOD? Why can’t I even say anything?” HIS response was, “Do you know how strong the spirit of these people are? They fast 40 days every year, have you ever fasted in all your life?” And I was again tongue tied (hahahaa! Pek ganern! - it’s a Filipino term meaning just like that!) I felt so silly and embarrassed because I never fasted in my entire life. GOD taught me the significance and basics of fasting but I was only fasting meals, not an entire day. It was then the first time the LORD taught me how to fight Spiritual Battles. He came to me as a Commander in Chief, and taught me strategies of war. HE showed me the battle plan in the table and He instructed me what to say and how to say it. I have been praying for them and fighting for them in my Spirit, worshipping GOD alone in my apartment dancing and declaring their salvation. Come Christmas Eve, the LORD told me to prepare, I had not eaten anything because I felt the Spirit led me to fast before meeting with them. To my surprise, my friend called me because his older brother wanted to prepare Christmas dinner for me because I was a Christian and without family in a foreign land. Now tell me, how can a Muslim family be so kind to a Christian? How could they celebrate this “Infidelous” (ok there’s no such word) event with an “Infidel”? I was so shocked. This older brother was the brilliant one in their family, he was a lawyer and he had established businesses in London by himself and brought his sister and her family and the twin brothers to London to start new lives (I think he is already a somebody by now in London or wherever). You see, Palestine is not a country, well at least the World doesn’t recognize them. They have been banished from Israel because of the Middle East Conflict which goes back to History in the Bible (long story). But they are a people that GOD recognizes and sees (Genesis 16). GOD is not blind to them, HE sees and knows them, loves them and knocks at the doors of their hearts just the same as HE is knocking on ours. In fact, I believe that they are so special GOD had sent me to them as a missionary without even me knowing it at first. But we all know that GOD is Sovereign over all things, HE has planned everything from the beginning and so my meeting with this family is no accident. NEVER! It was a divine appointment because if I had not met them, I would never have seen JESUS. They are so special indeed because it was because of them that I got to know the LORD so close, very very close, and I got to know JESUS as my Commander in Chief. It was also through this family that GOD taught me how to love my own – to love my Homeland and be proud of her. See in their house, they have a Palestinian Flag on their living room. They talk about Palestine with love in their hearts and they are faithful to their Nation and their Culture and the religion that comes with their Culture. They are a people devoted to who they are. And seeing their passion for their country made me ashamed of how I look down on my own country. The LORD told me “See, how much they love their Palestine? Christine, I raised you in the Philippines and made you Filipino and Chinese at the same time for a very special purpose. Please do not despise who you are, love who you are, love your own homeland and your own people”. And that is the first time GOD spoke to me about my Nation – the Philippines. GOD told me “See I brought you this far (London) to let you see your country from afar. The Philippines is the land I am trying to show you, a land flowing with Milk and Honey. But it is shackled up by the powers of Darkness. If only a righteous leader will rise up in the Philippines, my glory will shine through her.” And GOD brings me back to remembrance the Prophecies Spoken about the Philippines by the Appointed Prophet of GOD - Cindy Jacobs. You can listen to her Prophecy originally recorded on 2001. When she spoke those words, there is a stirring inside of my Spirit within. I know that she is not telling lies and that she is really sent by GOD as His voice because I can feel my own spirit rising within me. The Marian Curse of the Philippines Now you might be wondering what happened with me and my guy friend. Ok, we were like the best of friends, he was very kind to me and looked after me while I was there. But we all know that there is no such thing as platonic relationships between a boy and a girl. So I almost fell in love with him, because he treated me like a woman should be treat, with care and delicateness. Muslim culture is very different from Filipino Culture. They treat their women like precious jewels, so their women are so pampered and they are feminine, and they are very beautiful because the men in their lives let them feel it. Unlike the Filipino culture, women are kind of like the men, tough and strong, because our Filipino men are not standing up. When men steps down, the women step up. And I believe this is not GOD’s original plan, men are designed to be leaders, women are supporters. But we shouldn’t generalize all the rules, there are many women that GOD has called to lead, there are special cases like Deborah and Queen Ester. But being women Leaders, does not make them manly. They still remain in their feminine poise but it is indeed a challenge to remain feminine and lead at the same time. The Marian curse in our country has enabled women to be so easily prone to the Jezebel spirit. Jezebel was an Israelite Queen, wife of a wicked King Ahab. She wasn’t submissive to her husband, she manipulated everything because she wants to be in control all the time. You can read about her in the book of 1 Kings 16-21 and 2 Kings 9.g There is a Jezebel curse in every woman including me, but by the grace of GOD through JESUS Christ our LORD, we can overcome that curse, because it’s an everyday challenge for every woman to be submissive to their fathers, authorities and their husbands (especially). Eve also fell for the same sin, if only she had obeyed GOD NOT to eat from the TREE of the Knowledge of good and evil, then they would still be innocent like little children. Adam and Eve would still be in the Garden of Eden today and so are we. But Eve’s sin of stepping up to make decisions for their Life “as married couple” or initiatingh the very thing that GOD said not to do, led the both of them to the fall. If only Adam had stepped up and said “NO my wife! GOD said not to eat it” maybe we wouldn’t be cursed today but as you can see, everything happens for a reason. If they had not fallen, GOD would not send His only SON Yeshua/Jesus to die for us and so there won’t be any story to tell anymore. The story would all end with “And so Adam and Eve lived happily ever after” boring! Hahaha! But our GOD is not a boring GOD, oh no! HE is so full of mystery and wonder, it will take more than a lifetime to know HIM. Anyway, as I said, I almost fell in love with my friend, yes, even after my spiritual experience, I am still prone to sin because I am in my fallen human nature (unlike when when I am in my glorified body in the next Millennia according to Philippians 3:21 and 1 Corinthians 15:51-55 – then I would be perfect). But today I am still human, and GOD knew my dilemma even before I knew it. So the LORD stole my heart before it fell in the wrong hands, by telling me that my future husband was in the Philippines. I was like what?! “Didn’t we agree that I was going to marry a foreigner because I want one?” And HE said to me “You do not know what will make you happy, I know because I created you.” And so after crying for 2 days because I did not want to marry a local, I gave in to the LORD and said “Okay GOD let your will be done.” But after one week, the LORD had told me to come home. Coming Home The call to come home. At first it was through a Facebook message of a prophetic organization from nowhere that sent me a message that really disturbed my spirit. The message went like this “You are in a crossroads, and you want to take the wrong road but the LORD wants you to take the one you don’t like. You have to follow the LORD or else, it will cause a shipwreck” That was not the exact message but I understood it that way. Very much disturbed in my spirit. I left work early and went to the church I was attending at that time - Kensington Temple (such a Spirit filled church by the way), I felt GOD had a message for me there. And true enough, a General in the Kingdom of GOD was speaking, Roberts Liardon was saying to the congregation “This message is not for all of you, but someone who is here, that GOD had spoken and written prophecies about, HE is saying that HE will fulfill it and it will only be fulfilled if you go back to where you are raised. Go back, Go back to your home land.” Now the message was clear, GOD wanted me to go home to the Philippines, but my heart and mind was still resisting. “No I don’t want to go LORD, but if you really want me to come home, Speak to me through YOUR WORD – the BIBLE and I will come Home.” As I was in my apartment, I prepared myself to get answers from GOD, and when I opened my Bible to my daily reading plan, the WORD of GOD spoke to me so strong and clear through the story of Paul in Acts 26:12-18 12 “On one of these journeys I was going to Damascus (London) with the authority and commission of the chief priests (God’s servants). 13 About noon, King Agrippa, as I was on the road, I saw a light from heaven, brighter than the sun, blazing around me and my companions. 14 We all fell to the ground, and I heard a voice saying to me in Aramaic,[a] ‘Saul, Saul,(Christine, Christine) why do you persecute me? It is hard for you to kick against the goads.’ (go against my will) 15 “Then I asked, ‘Who are you, Lord?’ (What do you mean Lord? - Because I already know HIM) “ ‘I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting,’ the Lord replied. (When you go against my will you persecute me all over again. So I remember the movie passion of the CHRIST and the nails that drove into JESUS hands and I saw myself driving those nails into His hands every time I am against HIS will. And so I said “Oh no LORD, please forgive me and I will follow your leading, I will not disobey.) Then HE says to me 16 ‘Now get up and stand on your feet. I have appeared to you to appoint you as a servant and as a witness of what you have seen and will see of me. 17 I will rescue (protect) you from your own people (Filipino Believers) and from the Gentiles (Filipino Unbelievers). I am sending you to them18 to open their eyes and turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, so that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in me.’ So that was when I first received my mission. GOD was sending me back to the Philippines. I obeyed right away because my spirit would not allow me to rest until I had bought those tickets back home. But as I rode the airplane, I cried so much because I did not want to come home, I didn’t know what to do, my heart was still not agreeable to the will of GOD although my actions had already done what HE wanted (see the Jonah attitude - not good!) But coming home from London was my first death, I had to die to my own dreams and let those dreams go and surrender to the Will of GOD. When I arrived Cebu, I did not even let my parents know, my Pastor (at that time) and his wife fetched me at the airport and I slept in their house the first day, because I said I wanted to surprise my family (They might be reading this Note so I want to take this opportunity to thank them: Thank you for looking after me Pastor Timmy and Achi Grace). But deep inside, I really did not want to come home, My body was in Cebu – physically I was in my home town but my heart was still trying to run away. Thus, the Prodigal came home on Feb 10, 2010 but her heart and mind was never at home.