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Like playing with Matches?

Song of Songs 8:4 The Groom: “Swear to me, you daughters of Jerusalem: Do not disturb or awaken my love until she pleases.”


Written on 8th Watch, 2 Nisan 5783

Watchtower of Mandaue

15.22PM — 16.22PM

Memorandum: 2nd Warning Letter to #ahab



The day we met:

I was coming to meet you at a coffee shop to encourage you. I told my family about your situation and that I wanted to help you because you were a victim of “religious spirit”, the people that you sought for refuge had hurt you and now they have rejected you. I even asked my family to support me in my “mission” to you. I got their blessing. I truly understood your pain because I felt it in the past. My intention was only to encourage you… But when I saw you, sparks flew, I felt a very strong attraction to you but I never told you. I couldn’t sleep well the following days after meeting you because we exchanged hearts, you disturbed my spirit, you awakened a dead part of me. But I could not accept you because of your age, we were 14 years apart, it was something I could not take. My pride did not want anyone who was younger than me because I was insecure, apart from that I adored who you are, even though you were a broken man. My intention was only go guide you and be a mentor to you. But what I felt with you was so strong that I felt I was no longer fit to be a “mentor” “guide” “counselor” to you because in the world of Psychology, you cannot counsel anyone you have strong attachments with. Just like a Doctor cannot give surgery to their own family members because the attachment will disturb their focus. So, I decided to pass you to my Pastor mentor but when you could not give time to meet with him because you were always busy, and gikapoy nako sa akong nafeel nimo so I blocked you on December 30, 2022 on my active Facebook Account. But I did not want you to be so discouraged so I messaged you on my other “deactivated” account where you cannot see my posts on facebook anymore. We did not communicate until Jan 14, 2023 when you sent me a message on my “deactivated” account saying you want to work for my Company so you can focus on achieving your goals because where you are in your life right now, so many people are tugging at you, work, and extra-curricular activities that steal your time from being with GOD. You could not even go to church anymore because of poverty “kalisod” sa kinabuhi, you use that time to earn money but you understand that your spirit is dying that is why you want to relocate to where I am so you can start a new life and focus on your spiritual growth. You said you prayed about it and that GOD is leading you to work where I am. I always give advice to you and try to sound as mature and “Sisterly” like to you. Did I ever give the impression that I wanted you more than a brother??? I hid my feelings because I knew it wasn’t appropriate. But Ikaw ang nag sigeg palami ug estorya!!! (you have saying sweet nothings to me) You had kept on praising me, adoring my beauty, ikaw ang sigeg flirt nako (you kept flirting with me), sending me love songs like Brian Mcknights “Back at one” Did I ever acknowledge your flirtations??? I ignored all of them! You asked me out more than once and I turned it down because I knew it wasn’t time yet. I couldn’t meet with you because I don’t want you to see the look in my eyes that I have strong feelings with you. You kept asking me what i was looking for in a man. But on the day you told me you are no longer going to work for my company because you decided to stay where you are, you changed the topic about my future husband, asking me more than once what I was looking for in a man. Suko naman gud ko nimo kai sigeg palami ug storya, ako sigeg pugong ikaw sigeg duslit ug pusporo. (I was already angry with you because you keep telling me sweet little nothings and I've been holding back myself but you kept light matches).




Do you like playing with fire? Are you always like this to all the women? Are you really a pa-asa (giving false hopes) kind of guy? Usahay dli ko katuo nga ingon ana ka oi kai buotan man jud ka nga tao. If ingon ani gyud d ai ka, dli nalang sad ko nimo oi! Because sa akong ka insecure, ug kaselosa, bahalag dli ko maminyo, dli lang ko ma alkansi ug laki nga saag permi ug panan-aw. Dli man gud ko pa alkansi, negosyante baya ko Sir. (I could hardly believe that you are a heartbreaker because you are a kind person. But if you truly are a playboy, I would not even dare to feel anything for you because I am too insecure that I would rather never marry than to be married to someone who don't have eyes only for me because I don't ever want to be in the losing end.)


Do not ignite a fire when the time is not right Do not light up a match when you cannot endure the flame Do not play with matches because love is not a game...

But I don’t believe you are this kind of guy because GOD has shown me your good heart. I think you have eyes for only one girl because you stayed with your girlfriend 4 years and until now nga wala mu claro you still hope to be with her someday. It’s just that you met me one day and you ignited a fire within me when you kept lighting matches in my heart until a flame grew but when you said you still want to be with your girl after all that you have done, imo ko giguba Sir! YOU BROKE MY FUCKING HEART!!! You really started a WILD FIRE sa akong kalag!!! Now this fire won’t stop!!!


Nganu wala man lang ka nihuwat nalang sa right time to tell me what you feel para dli ta ma ingon ani? (Why didn't you wait for the right time to tell me how you felt so that we won't end up in such a mess?) I was willing to wait 4 years for you because after I met you, I have been battling with myself until I held my hands up in surrender and told GOD: “Okay LORD, I will give YOU 4 years, just transform that frog into a Prince." But why did you sing love songs to me when you are still attached to another girl in your past? Do you know how unfair this is for me? Ako nga I have been single for 8 years just to prepare myself for the right man but when the LORD introduced you to me, you were still a messed-up man, I didn’t want to do anything with you. But GOD keeps bringing you back to me. I already gave up on you but GOD would not give up on you mauna here I am writing letters to you just so you know what damage you have done to me. I am so broken dear Prince, how could tell me you wanted me when you still are lingering on your ex-past-history??? This is really me speaking from my heart… sakit jud kaau Sir… Grabeha nimo ka salbahis oi, dli baya ko basin kinsa lang nga bayi,(how could you be so cruel? Don't you know who I am? I am not just any ordinary girl) I am GOD’s favorite little autistic child, now you will get the spanking from GOD because GOD really loves you. I am still waiting for an explanation because My FATHER won’t give up on YOU and the KING who holds my heart really really loves you…


Waiting on the lake,



Yiska, The KING’s Princess Bride


18:11 1st Watch 4 Nisan 5783

P.S.

Today, I acknowledge my defeat to be the queen of you heart, because you chose to be with your ex more than to pursue me. I concede, I cannot be queen of your heart because you are still an #ahabprince, and I don’t want to be your #dyesebelqueen. It's okay, you do not need to explain anything anymore to me, you don't need to worry about me, you didn't hurt somebody ordinary but a special child who is autistic and the only way for me to release my tantrums is to write about it. So, by chance you come across my webpage reading this today, understand that this letter I write is the result of my house burning with flames of jealous desire, and pain, now I'ma set your house on fire!!!

Mimi Webb - House On Fire 🎤 I'm gonna set your house on fire I make friends with the head of police To make sure he'd suspect me the least If I'm caught I'll be out in a week I got my story straight down to a T Oh I'd say it wasn't me, hmm And sure we dated once in a while But if there was a motive, it's not enough for a trial I saw you out, it was zero degrees And you had your hands right under her sleeves Oh, you said you don't get cold, you liar Now I'ma set your house on fire Running, I'm running back to your place With gas and a match, it'll go up in flames Now I know you're not at home, you liar Now I'ma set your house on fire If somebody goes and calls the brigade I'll already be too far away (far away) I bought a map and I planned the escape I dye my hair, change my name You should've seen this from the start When you could've been honest, you could've been smart Yeah, we might have touched, we might have kissed But, darling, I'm sorry, it's not enough to convict I saw you out, it was zero degrees And you had your hands right under her sleeves Oh, you said you don't get cold, you liar Now I'ma set your house on fire Running, I'm running back to your place With gas and a match, it'll go up in flames Now I know you're not at home, you liar Now I'ma set your house on fire Now I'ma set your house on fire, you liar Now I'ma set your house on fire You can look around, but you won't find her She'll be outta town with the getaway driver That's the way it feels when the flames get higher Now I'ma set your house on fire





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