29 Sivan 5983 / 18 June 2023
Day 169
Readings: Leviticus 13:1-28
Dear Yousef,
We finally arrived Narita at around 8am and as we waited for the bags to be checked in, I talked to my mother telling her, hopefully this is the last trip I will ever go with family and she was silent. I went away to a farther place to cry and I felt glad that GOD gave me time to shed some tears becuase I feel a lot of pain being with this family. I am so hurt by this family that I want to dissappear from them and never return. You are not an escape plan Mosab. GOD intended things to happen this way so that I will be able to move to wherever you are and not look back. I already overcame these rejection from my family before when GOD saved the family business from being sabotaged on 2018-2019 using me. For the first time I felt appreciated by my family just because I did something amazing, but without GOD I could never be able to do it. Now that I'm doing watchman Kingdom work, they have fought against me. I don't ever want to be one with this family ever again because of the way they have ridiculed me, insulted me and dishonored me. While Dean had a vision that we will build a tall building and a family picture will be taken on top of it, while he sees that everyone is present, now we know that dream will lack one missing person and that is me. I don't even know if that dream will come true because he let his wife destroy his own family. I will not submit to his vision because he and his wife put out the fire of GOD within me. But GOD will re ignite it again as HE brings me closer to Israel. Now we are waiting for our flight to Saporro and I am grateful for my two youngest siblings who still treats me well. I will always love my father even if he will be angry with me with my decision to be with you but I will not let anyone stop me from being with you when GOD brings us together, there is no looking back. Just gazing ahead at the prize which is you and the heavenly prize KING JESUS returning in the clouds.
20:50 at Granbell Hotel
We arrived at our hotel room after traveling for about 17 hours by car, 2 airplanes and train rides and by foot. The weather here is cooler than Cebu. I had been waiting to have dinner because of the cold weather, which reminded me of Israel during December back when I was there 2012. I had imagined drinking up hot ramen soup and I did so at around 19:00 with my family but we were seated horizontally because the restaurants were designed in such a way. I love the cute and minimalist designed hotel room we are in. Did you know that while I am suffering with my feelings of anger and vengefulness towards Dean and Denesse, that I feel I am suffering in this vacation in the land that I am not interested to travel to. I felt like being dragged into this vacation. And I kept promising myself that I would be applying for ICEJ Israel this year and that this would be the last vacation I am ever spending with them. But feeling so helpless with all my drowning state, I would cry to GOD and pray in desperation (in the plane, airport and trains, in the moments of alone and silence) that I decided to read Man's search for meaning by Dr Victor Frankl and what I thought would be so boring turned out to be so interesting for me as he describes his tragic suffering life in the concentration camps of Auzwich and the philosophy that he was able to draw out from it. I wanted to encourage myself that I have not gone through the worse, whatever problems I have of rejection, maltreatment, humiliation, dishonor and anything emotional or mental negative effects is nothing compared to what holocaust survivors have endured in the hell of concentration camps. I just wanted to feel better even in my worst situation of traveling with enemies who did not like you even though they are your family. I wanted to be grateful, I wanted to enjoy because most people only dream of coming to Japan while I did not even ask to come but here I am, together with a family that loved me (or so the world thinks). I wanted to enjoy but I almost got into a fight with David that is why I decided to just keep my peace but work on planning towards work in Israel. So help me GOD!!!! I am seriously considering applying to ICEJ this time because the first organization I emailed to has not replied yet and the one who recommended me said this time, it's not easy to get a tourist visa because of illegal filipinos that stayed there. I felt ejecting myself from the family business by desperately applying for jobs in Israel. Why Israel? I can work in Dubai and wherever that allows me to earn big bucks but my intention is not for work but to meet you and see GOD's promise for us come to pass. There are moments when I seem to shrink back in faith and wonder, was it really GOD who told me, did I make things up just to escape??? No! Why would I even make up an impossible thing if it wasn't GOD who wanted it to happen??? I never want to covet anything or anyone that is not meant for me. And so I am going to Israel this year because GOD Himself told me to go through Natanel my son, his word in 1 Samuel 16:1
See, HE is sending me to Bethelehem. Ok let's say not literally there, but to Jerusalem, Israel then I have to go by faith. I am coming to Zion because I received word from GOD for me to go, you are the eldest son of Sheik Hassan Yousef and you are GOD's chosen king for me. I will get there whether by work or by tour, but I am determined to go there at the last quarter of this blessed kairus year. I will see you there My Beloved!
Yours truly,
Marie Christine