7th Watch 17 Sivan 5983 / 6 June 2023
Dear Mosab my Brother, Yousef my beloved
Today is the 17th of Sivan and I believe I have completed my last mission in Cebu. The number 17 means Victory. But it always depends on one's perspective. One of the most important things I believe is a sign of my mission in Cebu being completed is the money being released that our company owed to the ex- employees of our family business. These employees were about to bring the company down on 2018 but they weren't able to do so because I fired them out legally, but the local government agency didn't think it was legal even though there were papers to prove it. It is the 6th day of the 6th month of the Gregorian Calendar today that we released the money that the company certainly owed but we released even more than what we owed because they were given more money that they don't deserve because that case won unjustly. How can you win in a courtroom in an Agency that favors the Employees? But I did win two cases on 2019 and 2021, 2 cases filed directly to my name that I won because I did everything right and legally. But we lost this case filed against my mother and 2 people working for us not because I did something wrong but there was something wrong done to them in the past that I was not involved with the business yet. The number 6 is like a sign of a bad omen with 6 being both the day and month today, because 6 is the number of man. For me, this day does not make me feel defeated but empowered because YHVH, the GOD I serve and love is making righteous judgements accordingly on earth. Today I felt justified becaue the family I defended did not defend me but turned against me when I was being a watchman in GOD's Kingdom and so when they did turn against me, it was not me they were fighting with but it was the Spirit of GOD in me that they turned against. As a result of fighting against the Spirit of GOD operating in me, the judgement for this case turned against them the very next day that they fought against me.
For my family, today is a symbol of defeat as they are only starting to realize the TRUTH that money or wealth can never protect you from going through consequences if you have done wrong. Why do I say this? Because the Christian community somehow has been led astray when they hyper emphasize the Grace of GOD. GOD is both just and mericiful. But if one thinks HE is more merciful than just, then that person has a perverted way of looking at GOD. And when grace is hyper emphasized, Christians tend to disrespect GOD and fear of GOD diminishes leading to Pride. Since it is Pride month, it is only right that I should be writing about this issue. GOD's blessings tend to make spoiled brats out of the children of GOD, it is mostly the wealthy and rich that tend to have puffed heads... I thought I was already humble since 2017 but when GOD allowed me to have such a huge debt on 2021 I realized that GOD was still breaking something inside me that was a hard shell that is hindering me from being used by HIM completely. That shell was called pride and the hammer that GOD used to break me was a 2 Million debt that I had to work so hard to pay them off! At the time that I thought I was still indebted, was also the time I decided to go back to the place that hurt me the most. If I didn't have any debt, I probably would not go back to that place of pain. Meaning, I would not be able to obey GOD if I didn't have that debt which means I still have some sort of pride going on in me given that HE had to break me to lead me. Even though my reasons to not obey GOD were justifiable, I should never use any pain or give any excuse to justify disobedience to GOD's orders for me. What order was it, that I had to be indebted in order for GOD to make me obey? That order was to go back to the Sanctuary I was raised in and that order came in 2022 of October when I got sick with COVID. Yep! I did! I was never so sick in my entire life that I could not get up from bed for 48 hours. I was never this kind of sick, even though I would have fevers in the past, I would not be so sick that I could not work. I would still work even though I had the worst hay fever because my body was strong. But that kind of sick did not let me get up out of bed and in my sick bed I asked GOD what HE wanted me to do that I was not open to even thinking about it. It was not long enough that I realized HE wanted me to go back to my old Sanctuary and I returned because of HIS grace! The debt became the grace that allowed me to obey. I'm telling you! Today, I am not wallowing in defeat and depression because of that debt or the cause of that debt which was a love scam. GOD had miraculously and completely healed me of that today that I am not feeling any kind of self-pity or having a victim mentality for being scammed. I am rejoicing because that tragedy became a blessing to me!!!! I got to sell off the houses my father built, I get to return to the House that I left so that I can heal from the pain of it all and be free from any truama caused by that House so that I am who I am today when GOD first called me - a watchman and now because I am healed, I am back to loving you because HE wants me to. If I was still unhealed from all the pain I had gone through and if I was still fearful of all the Trauma I had in the past, I would not be writing about it. But I am traumatized with one thing, I am traumatized by my own family who could not even defend me when I needed them to defend me because their priority is different from mine. I prioritize GOD and HIS Kingdom and right now I am more than ready to leave the family I was raised in and not look back. I am more than ready to face a new chapter in my life without them, to live a different life from theirs because ever since I graduated from college, I knew deep down I was not meant to be part of the family empire that my parents had built and planned for us their children to inherit and to increase. Being an alien inside my home is the very reason why I left my country on 2009 because I was trying to find who I was and what I was meant to be. Instead I found myself kneeling in my apartment room in Greenwood, London, in a holy place, crying because of the burning sensation I felt inside and oustide around me even though it was the winter season, being in the presence of a Most HOLY GOD that cried for the eternal salvation of the Palestinian family that HE sent me there for (I wrote that story in Chapter 2 - The Prodigal Runaway).
Another day in my wilderness life has come to an end and I am now in the 1st Watch of 18 Sivan 5983. I will wait until you get to my brother, my beloved.
Yours truly,
Maryiam Yiska Yousef
end 19:22
Reference: Bible Study Together App - Bible Study Together
Biblical Meaning Of 17: Exploring The Significance (spirituallearners.com)